So DH has a HUGE family. He's number two of six ... all boys ... in the pecking order. This year for various crises, we could not travel to his parents home where the annual chaotic Holiday celebration was held. We actually had a nice, relaxing holiday here at home. AHHHHHHHHH.
That was until a couple of days before the Holiday, when I received an email from my MIL, who said that we will not be receiving our gifts until after Christmas, and most likely until they returned from their trip to NYC after the new year.
Needless to say, DH was not happy. Me? Annoyed would be a good term, DH was actually angry. Can't say as I blame him. We FedEx'ed our gifts the week before Christmas to make sure everyone got them not only on time, but with enough time to make sure no one was angry in being slighted.
So we ended up having one gift to open from my family. Fantastic gift, don't get me wrong. Holidays are NOT about the gifts, but geez, don't tell us you got us something cool, and then neglect to tell us we won't be getting it until three weeks later. Once DH got his father to agree with him that they were being unmannered clods, he agreed (his father) to mail our gifts the Monday after Christmas. So we're now celebrating the holiday on Wednesday when they get here.
We think.
The Next Step in life is often the most frightening. This is my attempt to understand it, think it through and move on to the next.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Reality Bites?
As time goes on, and we progress through the process of bringing home our children, we’ve had to make some very difficult decisions. One of them being: How will we be able to survive on one income while driving two luxury cars? Well, the answer was simple: We can’t.
Over the past few weeks, DH and I have spent most of our waking moments together researching cars that would work for us. I looked at ALL SUV’s with a third row seat. DH looked at everything he could. Thats just the way men work. LOL
Seven months ago, my incredible DH surprised me. For my birthday, he bought me a Porsche Cayenne. Their SUV that has 247 HP, a V6, and all the bells and whistles. It was an incredible gift.
Two days ago, we traded it in for a much more peace-of-mind-for-the-wallet-friendly Chrysler Pacifica. More horse power, still a V6, DVD ready, and a third row seat.
He traded in his Saab convertible for a Chrysler Crossfire coupe. What a cool car.
I’ll bottom line it: between that and the insurance savings, we’re saving over $300 a month.
Return on Investment: Priceless.
Over the past few weeks, DH and I have spent most of our waking moments together researching cars that would work for us. I looked at ALL SUV’s with a third row seat. DH looked at everything he could. Thats just the way men work. LOL
Seven months ago, my incredible DH surprised me. For my birthday, he bought me a Porsche Cayenne. Their SUV that has 247 HP, a V6, and all the bells and whistles. It was an incredible gift.
Two days ago, we traded it in for a much more peace-of-mind-for-the-wallet-friendly Chrysler Pacifica. More horse power, still a V6, DVD ready, and a third row seat.
He traded in his Saab convertible for a Chrysler Crossfire coupe. What a cool car.
I’ll bottom line it: between that and the insurance savings, we’re saving over $300 a month.
Return on Investment: Priceless.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Family!
So tonight, DH and I watched Jamie Foxx do his thing on behalf of the Dave Thomas Foundation (I'll put links in here later). We started watching because I took over the remote control and confiscated the "good" TV. (We have 4 other TV's, but DH considers this one the only one worthy of watching anything of value on.) It was tastefully produced, and amazingly impressive. It moved along without dwelling or being sappy. Yes, it tugged at the heart strings; yes, it made me teary; but, wow, did it open up a whole new world for a whole bunch of kids.
The focus was on Family, with adoption being the vehicle on how they were created, but families. Loving, caring.
Why do I repeat the word family? Because it is so vital here. Love is what breathes life into Family, and Family can be defined in so many ways. But the root of all of it ... well, that is love.
Every birthday since the beginning of my time, my parents have always, and I repeat, always written in the birthday card, "You are the best thing that ever happened to us." Over the years, I've read many things into that, and only recently, did I screw up enough courage to ask my mother why they always wrote it. I always read it, but every year it meant something new, something different, to me. When I asked she said, "You allowed our family to be complete. Before you came to us, we had many (8 or 9) miscarriages. Your presence allowed us to focus on you, love you, and as a result we credit you with allowing your sister to stay inside just that much longer so she could live once she was born (my parents issue was never getting pregnant, it was staying pregnant). My sister was a 21 week baby. In 1971.
Love is the glue that binds a family. How a family forms is up to the participants, how a family thrives is also up to the participants.
A wise woman once told me, "You cannot help who you love, but you can help who you like." Choose your friends wisely, open your heart to love, and your life will fall open for you at your feet.
The focus was on Family, with adoption being the vehicle on how they were created, but families. Loving, caring.
Why do I repeat the word family? Because it is so vital here. Love is what breathes life into Family, and Family can be defined in so many ways. But the root of all of it ... well, that is love.
Every birthday since the beginning of my time, my parents have always, and I repeat, always written in the birthday card, "You are the best thing that ever happened to us." Over the years, I've read many things into that, and only recently, did I screw up enough courage to ask my mother why they always wrote it. I always read it, but every year it meant something new, something different, to me. When I asked she said, "You allowed our family to be complete. Before you came to us, we had many (8 or 9) miscarriages. Your presence allowed us to focus on you, love you, and as a result we credit you with allowing your sister to stay inside just that much longer so she could live once she was born (my parents issue was never getting pregnant, it was staying pregnant). My sister was a 21 week baby. In 1971.
Love is the glue that binds a family. How a family forms is up to the participants, how a family thrives is also up to the participants.
A wise woman once told me, "You cannot help who you love, but you can help who you like." Choose your friends wisely, open your heart to love, and your life will fall open for you at your feet.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
But where do I fit in?
As DH and I got closer to the wedding day, I started getting excited. Excited about marrying the love of my life (cliche, but true). Excited about starting a family with him.
While I was waiting for DH to make a decision on starting our family, I joined a really cool online community of women who chart their cycles, speak a cool "Fertility" language, and are just all around neat people.
So where do I fit in? Where DID I fit in?
Absolutely no where. It wasn't my fault, and it wasn't fair.
I started identifying with women who were "Infertile" (damn, I hate that word). Why? Because they didn't have a baby, just like me. I could relate to their anguish, their pain of emptiness, their soul deep despair. I was feeling it, too. But for another reason. I was all alone in my desire to hold a child.
I stopped going to baby showers. I became very angry when people broke policy and brought their children in the office because they didn't have a sitter. We even had one woman who would pick up her sick child from school, bring her back to work, and make a little nest under the desk in her cube so her daughter could sleep under there for the ENTIRE day. She even would walk around telling people to conduct their business elsewhere.
So, I'm not infertile. Or really, I don't know if I am or not. All I know is, DH and I worked past this "block" we had for the two of us. Our first children will be adopted, and then we're going to try to have a couple of biological children.
Adoption is not an option. Adoption is not a choice. It is a life. And this is mine.
I'm now going to go break up a cat fight, let the dog chase one cat, and go hang out with my husband. Have a great night, y'all. ;)
While I was waiting for DH to make a decision on starting our family, I joined a really cool online community of women who chart their cycles, speak a cool "Fertility" language, and are just all around neat people.
So where do I fit in? Where DID I fit in?
Absolutely no where. It wasn't my fault, and it wasn't fair.
I started identifying with women who were "Infertile" (damn, I hate that word). Why? Because they didn't have a baby, just like me. I could relate to their anguish, their pain of emptiness, their soul deep despair. I was feeling it, too. But for another reason. I was all alone in my desire to hold a child.
I stopped going to baby showers. I became very angry when people broke policy and brought their children in the office because they didn't have a sitter. We even had one woman who would pick up her sick child from school, bring her back to work, and make a little nest under the desk in her cube so her daughter could sleep under there for the ENTIRE day. She even would walk around telling people to conduct their business elsewhere.
So, I'm not infertile. Or really, I don't know if I am or not. All I know is, DH and I worked past this "block" we had for the two of us. Our first children will be adopted, and then we're going to try to have a couple of biological children.
Adoption is not an option. Adoption is not a choice. It is a life. And this is mine.
I'm now going to go break up a cat fight, let the dog chase one cat, and go hang out with my husband. Have a great night, y'all. ;)
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Sorry, we're closed.
Just as we make the decision on what agency will have the honor of bringing us our babies, Russia temporarily decides to shut its doors. People who already are 3/4 of the way done can complete, otherwise, you're SOL. So sorry.
I live deep in the heart of Texas, and it was 34 COLD degrees out this morning.
Lets give me more terrible news, please. (OK, please don't. That was NOT an attempt to tempt fate, rather, an attempt at sarcasm.)
I live deep in the heart of Texas, and it was 34 COLD degrees out this morning.
Lets give me more terrible news, please. (OK, please don't. That was NOT an attempt to tempt fate, rather, an attempt at sarcasm.)
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Insult me, insult everyone!
It really makes me angry when people think that adoption is a “noble” or “special” thing. A few people have made comments to me – directly or indirectly – and I, for one, am angry.
What makes adoption unique? Do people walk up to pregnant women and thank them for continuing the human race? Hell no.
I am someone who has chosen to build her family through adoption. No different than someone choosing to have a biological child. Bottom line.
Don’t insult people for doing what they feel is the right thing for them. It IS insulting.
Why? It’s a choice. Its something to be happy for me about. Excited, even.
But don’t tell me its noble to adopt. Like Karen athttp://thenakedovary.typepad.com The Naked Ovary said, it belittles not only the parents … and we will all be parents … but it degrades the value of the child. Notice, I did not say adopted child, as it is feeling that once a child is adopted, they are a true son or daughter. It puts the child in a secondary position, and that is not fair.
So, my feeling is: Say this to me again, and duck. I’m ready and loaded for bear.
What makes adoption unique? Do people walk up to pregnant women and thank them for continuing the human race? Hell no.
I am someone who has chosen to build her family through adoption. No different than someone choosing to have a biological child. Bottom line.
Don’t insult people for doing what they feel is the right thing for them. It IS insulting.
Why? It’s a choice. Its something to be happy for me about. Excited, even.
But don’t tell me its noble to adopt. Like Karen at
So, my feeling is: Say this to me again, and duck. I’m ready and loaded for bear.
We did it!
We picked an agency, filled out the application, and sent in our first check.
See, I've got at least this part figured out. They charge you a tiny (comparably) application fee to make sure you're interested enough to learn more, and then they get you with the Dossier Fee that chokes you because its close to a month and a half's salary.
So with the first $150 sent off to the agency (what I'm referring to at home as, "the tease") I've decided it is now time to call my banker back and cajole the loan approval out of him.
Yesterday, I dropped our preliminary immigration paperwork in the mail. Soon, we will receive a date for the appointment and get to take a day off of work to drive to the next big city (because we don't live in one??) to be fingerprinted.
Homestudy happens some Tuesday in January. More money needed for that.
I have a feeling that this is just the beginning of our adventure into a life of poverty. HAH! Totally kidding here, folks. Ok, maybe the poverty will only last 5 years or so. :)
See, I've got at least this part figured out. They charge you a tiny (comparably) application fee to make sure you're interested enough to learn more, and then they get you with the Dossier Fee that chokes you because its close to a month and a half's salary.
So with the first $150 sent off to the agency (what I'm referring to at home as, "the tease") I've decided it is now time to call my banker back and cajole the loan approval out of him.
Yesterday, I dropped our preliminary immigration paperwork in the mail. Soon, we will receive a date for the appointment and get to take a day off of work to drive to the next big city (because we don't live in one??) to be fingerprinted.
Homestudy happens some Tuesday in January. More money needed for that.
I have a feeling that this is just the beginning of our adventure into a life of poverty. HAH! Totally kidding here, folks. Ok, maybe the poverty will only last 5 years or so. :)
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