And now for something really important ...

DH and I, my wonderful, hard-headed, stubborn, incredible, well, you get the idea...

We've finally made progress. We had a hell of a summer. Thats actually a pretty significant understatement. DH and I actually almost got a divorce. We were seperated for a couple of weeks. We spent most of the summer in therapy.

Why, you ask?

Well, very simple. I want a child. I have a soul deep need to be a mother. DH, on the other hand, didn't feel like he was ready quite yet and was happy and content to wait another five years or so until the mood struck. Sorry hon, that dog don't hunt here. (Holy shit, did I just use one of those 'ism's that I always swore I never would? Oh God, shoot me now!)

So here we are. Fast forward to this week. We're getting close. We're talking options, we're talking time-frames, we're talking places. We're talking domestic or international.

So drumroll please

.

.

.

We're adopting. We are choosing to build our family through adoption. I couldn't be happier. I'm researching like crazy, and right now, we're looking at Eastern Europe.

Why are we adopting when I have a perfectly good (we think, its never been occupied) uterus? Well, I was adopted, and it was THE defining moment in my life. I have a fantastic family. My extended family, whether they realize it or not, have had their minds open to adoption. My husbands family, well, we don't know how they'll react, but as DH says, "Its not their decision."

So back to the Why of it. Its how we were meant to build our family. If we're blessed with biological children later on, then fantastic, welcome to the party! But this, this, feels right down to the tips of my toes.

I've got so much to post and so much to say, but I had to get this down. I'll collect my thoughts much better for the next post. Promise.

And the winner is ...

Anna, from http://betweenstupidandclever.typepad.com/!!

Congratulations, Anna!

Oprah is a Genius

GM, 'Oprah' team up to give away cars

Gmail

The winner of the gMail comment contest will be posted tomorrow. You have until tomorrow morning to post a comment. Each comment is counted. If you post 4 comments, you get 4 chances, and so on.

Good luck!

China executes bank employees

Remind me not to imbezzle money next time I'm in China.

China executes bank employees in fraud crackdown - Sep. 14, 2004

AFK for a while

Until the doctor decides whether this is a Carpal Tunnel flare up or the beginning of Tendonitis/Arthritis, well, he's told me no typing. Which means work is going to be difficult, and being on here ... well, non-existant.

I'll be back with an update when I can. Meanwhile, typing one handed isn't fun ... :)

Weather Underground: Tropical Storm: Storm-Centered Satellite Image

Weather Underground: Tropical Storm: Storm-Centered Satellite Image

People in Florida, be safe.

Baby Day

Today I spent the day at home. I'm feeling better than I did this morning, which is good, but taking the day off sucked. I had stuff to do, and missing a day when you've got stuff to do isn't fun. :(

So I spent the day in my recliner watching every baby show on TV. Adoption Story, Birth Day, everything the Discovery channel or TLC could throw at me. So now I'm sick, and having a need for a "baby fix."

I got a baby fix in one way, but now my ovaries hurt from the desire for a baby.

I've wanted a baby since I was 15 and started babysitting. I spent the rest of my teens in school, spent my early 20's in college ... at a religious school ... the rest of my 20's having a hell of a time. I was ready to settle down at 18, but knew I needed to cross things off my "TO DO" list. Found the right guy at 28, married at 31, and now, at 33 have STILL been ready for a baby since I was 18. My husband doesn't seem to comprehend this. *sigh*

So thats a little bit about me. What about you?

Gmail

About Gmail

To encourage commenting on this site, I'm giving away (1) one envied invitation to Gmail. Gmail is Google's answer to Hotmail. Only with a Gig of space per account.

Post your comment, and include your website or email in the link. Winner will be chosen at random. (Probably little scraps of paper on the bulletin board in my office, and borrow a dart from a co-worker.)

Video Games

My husband is in the video game industry. I love him dearly, but his career, at times, permiates every facet of our lives. We went out to dinner with some friends last night -- granted, both of those friends are in the industry as well -- but holy cow. Sometimes I forget that this is a "normal" conversation for them.

I've been part of this world for four years now, will I ever get used to it?

How To Cry At Work

Yesterday, Karen @ The Naked Ovary had me crying at work. It carried over to home, too.

Parents like this are so rare. This is one of the most incredible, most special things I've ever heard of.

Thank you, Karen, for sharing this with us.

What we walk on

The DH and I recently changed the flooring on most of the upstairs. It looks incredible, but unfortunately has only one side effect.

The echo.

I need to get a couple of rugs to stop the echoing of people walking on it, of one of us screaming at one of the pets. That will go a long way to helping reduce that. One question, though. What size rug do you buy for a room that measures 17 x 27?

Feelings...

Feelings of a soul deep need for a child. Knowing that you're meant to be a mother. Feeling helpless when your husband isn't quite there yet.

All that and more. Stay tuned for ... The Next Step.