Wednesday, August 10, 2005

But I have a good excuse!!

As an adoptee and a sister of a special needs person, I realize, more than most, it seems, how vital it is to bring children into this world that are thoughtful and open minded.

Going through the home study and paper gathering process the first time was difficult the first time. Going through it a second time was agonizing. First of all, I returned to the site of my adoption (the agency) when we had our last "face to face" appointment for our home study. It didn't, and doesn't, bother me. However, it was a very odd feeling to know that I am where I am now because of that place. Again, not a bad feeling, just odd.

This time, going through all the face to face talks, the massive amounts of articles that our social worker sent us, and just facing more questions from within; well, the road has not been easy for me.

Did I mention that in the middle of this paper frenzy, we got denied by the INS and had to have our Senator get involved. We still don't know the outcome of that little gem.

Oh, and I think I've forgotten to mention the IRS audit that cheerfully appeared in our mailbox a couple of weeks ago.

Let me tell you, life is NOT dull in our household. I have a feeling it never will be … but I wouldn't have it any other way. Except the audit part. That sucked.

I've faced many demons that I didn't realize were living in my head. Things I just want to put out there as lessons learned:

I like who I am and where I come from.
I'm proud of my family for how I was always part of the family. Period. There were no conditions or exceptions.
The search for my birth family was a private event and will remain so. However, I did search, and I did find. And my family is still my family.
Stay at home moms should be celebrated. But so should working moms. No arguments amongst yourselves. Both groups have everything to be proud of.
I've faced down some interesting prejudices. And the funny thing is that they're ones I've never realized I had. I'm so grateful to have had this opportunity to face them down before the kids come home.

The rest I'll gracefully keep to myself.

So the news everyone has been waiting for:

We're almost paper-ready … again.

All I know is that as soon as the final piece of paper is sent to Russia, we're heading to the store and celebrating with a big 'ole (ok, not so big) shopping spree to buy a couple of cribs. Ok, it also means that we'll have to find a place for all our boxes which currently reside in the kids room.

Did I mention we're heading back to Russia? Long story. Just read most of the Russia/Kazakhstan adoption blogs and you'll get why we just played musical countries. We're done moving around and are looking forward to completing the process in Russia.

I took a trip to our old city a couple of weeks ago. Paid a long overdue visit to my hair stylist. I'm blonde again, and feel almost normal. I didn't have the brass to drive by the old house. Its still on the market. Six months since we've left and it still hasn't sold. We know the right family is out there ... I just wish they'd hurry up and find the place! :)

The blog world has recently erupted in a frenzy of backlash towards adoptive parents. Being not only an adoptee but also an adoptive parent, I feel I need to say something.

This is unfair, uncalled for, and unwarranted. Adoptive families have just as much right to be families as any other type of family out there. They're just created a little differently.

When I was growing up, I was told that if I had nothing nice to say, then I should say nothing at all.

Please, people out there in the world wide internets, lets all remember that unless we've walked a mile in someone else's blog, be nice.

I don't think that's asking too much.

1 comment:

Erin said...

You notice it too? I thought I was going insane or something.