I cannot honestly believe we're hitting the three year anniversary of Connor joining our happy family. Its been quite the adventure!

I'll have a full post closer to the actual dates of things happening, but it still amazes me how little and frankly how delayed and what I call "behind the eight ball" he really was.

We have our final post placement report meeting the weekend of Labor Day.

Three years.

Wow.

So I got my original birth certificate in the mail. I now know what my original name is. Thank you parents for changing it. Seriously. My time of birth is on there, too.

So is my birth mothers name.

I contacted an intermediary who got in contact with my birth mother. I wanted to respect her space and her life as much as possible.

It took a couple of weeks to finally connect with her. But the bottom line is: she wants no contact. I'm not upset. Resigned, but not upset. It also doesn't mean that I can't contact my half brother and sister in a decade or so. I now know who they are and where they are.

Emotions? Honestly, since I've known that I've always been adopted, I had very few emotions about it. I've accepted long ago who I am and who my real parents are. This woman may have given birth to me but honestly, I was only interested in finding out weird things like: who to blame for my insanely thick and curly hair.

I have my family here. My fabulous husband and cute and sassy son. I have parents that are wonderful and a sister who is crazy (in a good way). I have an extended family that is amazing. There's SOO many of them.

She didn't answer the questions I had, but maybe someday I'll get the answers.

The check I sent along with the form to get my birth certificate hasn't been cashed yet. However, on Saturday, I checked the mail and was STUNNED to find a copy of my original birth certificate.

My birth name, my birth mothers name, the empty slot where a birth father would be listed and best piece of information yet, the location of my birth mothers birth.

This information is currently being digested. I'm not sure how to respond or how to react. All I know is that it will be a deliberate and considerate response.

Small-ish bunny hop in the process to getting my original birth certificate. The state agency that handles this process called me to let me know that I didn't have enough identity verification included in the envelope. Evidently the copy of my drivers license and passport wasn't enough. ;)

So down to the local court house I went to get a copy of my marriage certificate.

Now, I wait. I'm looking forward, excited, and terrified all at the same time.

I'll know a little before hand that they've succeeded because they'll cash the check for the fee. $28.

Then I'll just have the wait for it to get to me.

Today was a day. Not just a capital D Day, but a DAY. All caps.

Today I mailed a form to the state I was born in. I requested a copy of my birth certificate. My original birth certificate. Pre adoption.

Six to eight weeks to get it back. I'll know the names of my birth parents.

I'm excited, scared, elated, terrified. Most of all, though, I'm proud. Damn proud that I did it. I've been wanting to do itfor a very long time.

Today, I did.

You're becoming such a little man. I am surprised by you each and every day.

Today I was at work all day, and when you and Daddy came to have lunch with me at the store, you pointed to my apron and said, "Mamma, off." So off the apron went, and off we went to the food court. You had fun swiping bacon from my baked potato, meat from Daddy's cheesesteak, and you LOVED your seasoned fries. Not the best lunch, but for you, a great afternoon snack. :)

Tonite, as I was putting you to bed (you wore your poor Daddy out and he was in bed before you!) I said, "Mamma wants a kiss." You leaned over and laid one on me. My heart just about exploded. You've been so affectionate lately, and its been wonderful to see.

For the first time yesterday I asked you to smile when I took a picture of you. And to my surprise, you DID! Your constantly smile, so I never have to ask, I guess I just never realize all I had to do was ask, but wow, what a great treat!

We are praying and hoping that the hitting phase (Mommy and Daddy only, thankfully) is passing us ...

Wow. I didn't realize it had been almost a month since I last updated.

So here's whats been going on in my world:

Right now I have a "one shift a week" job at the mall just to keep me busy. DH has been taking care of the little man while I'm at work, and I'm seeing great things come of it in their relationship. He's turning into a "father" instead of just "daddy". I love seeing the two of them together.

We're heading out of town for the holidays. Visting friends ... which we're very excited about. The boy has his own seat, and between the three of us, we have the entire row, which will make the experience of travelling much better than it has been.

I may or may not be able to check in between now and the new year. But if I don't, please have a happy and healthy holiday season.