Adoption: Seeing Red

Lets get this straight.

Long time readers of this blog know that my son is adopted. Long time readers also know that I am adopted. If not, hit the archives. There's a bunch of stuff there.

Today, Jen*nifer L*opez was quoted saying that "...adoption is a selfless act." I will not link to the article as I don't want to give it more hits than its already getting. If you want to read it, please Goo*gle it.

What she fails to realize or recognize is that she is wrong. Not just a little wrong, but fundamentally wrong.

1. Adoption is a SELFISH act. The adoptive parents have a choice to adopt. The birth parent or parents have a choice to place that child for adoption.

2. The child does NOT get to choose. My son did not get to choose to be adopted. I took that choice from him. However, I respect that he did not make this decision and make sure he understands what it means to be adopted, where he came from, and who he is. That he is loved unconditionally is a given. I never, ever forget that we are the lucky ones to have him in our lives.

The question I would like answered from not just her, but the population as a whole is this:

How does this qualify as selfless?

Right. It doesn't. I don't have to go deeper or further into explaining this. Its a simple logic.

Why I'm seeing red:

She is seeing herself as being altruistic and "saving" this child. What position does this place the child in in this family? It demeans and undermines the position this child should be in. In other words, this child should be a son or daughter; not an object that needs gratitude given back towards its parent. I "saved" this child? Bull shit. A child is not a fashion statement. Nor is it a status symbol. Its not even close to being grateful. Tell me this; do you remind your biological children that they should be grateful that you were selfless enough to give birth to them? No? Then why should that opinion be transferred to one you didn't give birth to but are still a parent (or potential parent) of?